All People Want to Feel Appreciated

The "A" in WUCA! means "Appreciate." You may NEVER get a second chance to tell a person what they mean to you. Take every opportunity to tell someone how much you Appreciate them and how much good they bring to others.

As the clock counts down another year, we often reflect and feel the need to make some personal changes. We want life to be fun and light, not held back by grudges, anger, hate. As the "A" in WUCA! is how to express Appreciation, one action you can take is to show gratitude and forgive others in a unique and lasting way.

To lighten your heart-load, try writing a living eulogy to three people: someone you appreciate (they might be gone soon), someone who has "done you wrong" (let it go), and yourself (you must love and appreciate yourself if you expect others to love and appreciate you).

1) A living person you appreciate. Let a living person know just what they mean to you while they can hear/read the words. You choose the delivery method, with the goal to touch their heart in a very Be WUCA! Way to feel their life matters, has value, and meaning. Do it now - you may never get a second chance to tell a person what they mean to you. 

My story with my daughter, Erin, is here, it is "Why" we teach how to build great relationships. 

http://www.bewuca.com/blog/my-why?rq=why 

2) A person who has "done you wrong." The point of this writing is to release your pain. Think about the experience/s you've had with this person and write honestly, from your heart, ways you can forgive or appreciate them. If you do this exercise, you know the circumstances and whether it's wise to deliver what you've written. If not advisable, write it out and store or destroy the document and feel good you've let go of feelings whose tight grip may have stifled you. Feel GREAT and allow yourself to move on.

3) Yourself. What's on your heart you need to jettison to go forward free of guilt, shame, remorse, sadness? You're an incredible person - think of how amazing you'll feel when you lift that weight!

But where to begin? Here are some tips.

  • Praise the person and their wonderful characteristics.
  • You could include a condensed life history, details about family, friends, work/career, interests, achievements, favorite memories, favorite poems, songs, quotes, or religious writings, and recall your own memories.
  • Organize notes and drafts on a computer, plain paper, note cards, video - whatever method is most comfortable and familiar to you.
  • You decide the tone. Some  prefer serious, while others may want to keep it light. A mix of both, solemnity and humor, is usually best to allow the receiver to share in the celebration of a life. Their life.
  • Write in your own voice - the same way you would normally talk. Don't get bogged down by the formalities - your reader will want to feel like you are talking to them from your heart, not a script.
  • Deliver in the best way for the person and situation. If you're writing for yourself, celebrate YOU!

The most touching and meaningful eulogies are written from the heart - it doesn't have to be perfect. Whatever you write will be appreciated. Writing a eulogy is truly an honor for a person - your words will paint a picture through the memories, anecdotes, and stories you tell of their impact on Earth. 

One day, the person you appreciate won't be there. Take your chance. Do it now!!

Global Horizons

On the Leading Edge of Thought

Building Civility Around the World

Relationship is Everything

When examining the talent at any organization look at the culture, not the rhetoric – look at the results, not the commentary about potential. Here’s what an article in Forbes magazine reports:

·         More than 30% believe they’ll be working someplace else inside of 12 months.

·         More than 40% don’t respect the person they report to.

·         More than 50% say they have different values than their employer.

·         More than 60% don’t feel their career goals are aligned with the plans their employers have for them.

·         More than 70% don’t feel appreciated or valued by their employer.

So, for all those employers who have everything under control, you better start re-evaluating. There is an old saying that goes; “Employees don’t leave companies, they leave people." Regardless of tenure, position, title, etc., employees who voluntarily leave, generally do so out of some type of relationship disconnect with leadership and co-workers.

Every moment of every day you are in a relationship. Whether you are with another person, in traffic, at work, or alone in a room with just yourself, you are in a relationship.

Getting along in that relationship is an intentional act that begins only with you and has nothing to do with the other person. Only you create the result that you experience from that relationship.

How do I know this? By me changing my actions and doing everything that I write about and experience. Living WUCA! has changed every relationship in my life.

Relationships thrive when you intentionally:

Welcome
•    Words matter. Use words that build and heal. 
•    Accept responsibility for the results you are receiving and living.
Understand
•    Listen actively to what is being said by others; don’t just wait to talk. 
•    Deliberately create space for civil dialogue. Circles are best.
Comfort
•    Live your purpose through your passion. It is the best way others can live theirs. 
•    Achieve your vision with goals as stepping stones. Move toward the future you wish to create.
Appreciate
•    Express gratitude daily. Unexpressed gratitude is ingratitude.
•    Eulogize others while they are still alive. Let them hear their praises. 

If the nature of any relationship you are in is not going the way you want, you can be certain you are compounding the problem by continuing to give energy to the actions that you dislike or don’t want. When someone says they don’t get along with their parent or spouse or someone they work with, they are defining the relationship in terms of what they dislike. When your thoughts and words are on what you don’t want, it will continue to be the story of the relationship. If you want the relationship to improve, focus your energy on what you love about it and what you want it to be like.

What keeps you stuck in bad relationships boils down to two factors - which will change immediately - when you decide to act differently:

1.    How you decide to view your relationship.
2.   The actions you take that change you.

Your environment will change when you change your actions: all your thoughts, beliefs, and habits. 
When you stop blaming others for your past and your circumstances, you will start building the relationship that you have always wanted. Even with yourself.

When you learn the WUCA! Way, you will act the WUCA! Way, then you will teach others the WUCA! Way.

Living WUCA! improves your relationships so you can experience the world intended for you!

Make 2015 your Best Year yet! Take care, be well, Be WUCA!

 

Learn WUCA!      Act WUCA!      Teach WUCA!

Civility?

Name calling! Finger-pointing! Backbiting!

Blaming others seems to be the norm these days. Should it be?

Tear down this wall!

Years ago, East and West Germany became one nation. A wall was torn down. It is time our walls between differing ideologies, values and opinions come down.

Effective leaders cultivate a safe and supportive climate in which relationships are based on inclusivity, trust, and mutual respect. Only in a supportive environment can people feel safe to express differences of opinions and work toward “win-win” solutions.

This country and so many communities, groups, and political organizations need to listen to each other. Not just not talk and take positions, but to listen to why people hold a particular view. The environment we create teaches generations of individuals how to think about, talk about, talk to, and treat one another.

Listening is an action!

Listening is a skill that requires intentional development. Just as you needed to learn how to walk correctly, relationships require the skill to actively listen because much of the time when an issue arises, the problem on the surface usually has a problem behind it where the true issue lies.

We each view life and the issues we encounter through our own filters. Unique opinions and values form through our environment: the people we grew up with. Live and work around. Our experiences, thoughts, and perceptions about them. The values we have formed throughout our lives. We create environments everywhere. Family. Friends. Work. Worship. The grocery store. The car. Play.

Inherent in every relationship, conflict is a difference in perspectives. The diversity of perspectives within relationships helps generate ideas and facilitate change. If it is managed wisely, conflict is an opportunity. Listen for values to identify the issue.

Don't just talk about an issue, talk through it

The search for common ground on tough issues is more productive using a technique called "deliberative dialogue," seeking "why" people hold their position. Dialogue talks through an issue, not just takes a stand about - for or against - an issue. When you seek to understand the "why" others act the way they do, you discover a person's values. From there, you can work together to identify a positive outcome in a safe space. People can come together, talk through perspectives on issues, and find common ground that will create a better environment.

Consider these questions when identifying the "problem behind the problem." Be sure to intentionally involve all affected parties in the dialogue.

Naming the issue: What do you think is the problem? What bothers you?

Framing the issue: What can/should we do about the problem?

Deliberating to understand values: If we do what you suggest, what do you think would happen?

What would be fair? Effective?

Why would we be better off? How would we be better off?

What is the downside?

If there is a downside, would we change our minds? What different course could we pursue?

Acting together to find common ground: What would you and the affected parties be willing to do about the problem? What are you willing to give up to do what you want to do?

Are you seeking civility? Check your environment. See if people listen to and respect one another. If you need a technique, try deliberative dialogue.

"The Be WUCA! Way" teaches civility.

Learn - Do - Teach.

Create Wealth The Be WUCA! Way

The best way to lead a great team is to create an environment that encourages individuals to communicate better, deal with others better, and help people like and trust each other better. Effective leaders realize that the thin line between fitting in and being welcomed is so close to feeling excluded and left out.

Effective leaders know that people want to belong somewhere. In a group. At work. At the worship center. In families. With friends! If you know you can use some help in this leadership area in your relationships, you're in good company.

When effective leaders lead The Be WUCA! Way, wealth is created in many different forms.

What comes to mind when you think of creating wealth? A room full of gold? Vacations? A new car? Bills paid off so you feel wealthy? The newest phone or device? These certainly can be pictures of building or having wealth.

Much larger than the economic sense, creating wealth is the act of building a person’s knowledge, experience, and abilities to build sustainability in community. When you create wealth with The Be WUCA! Way foundation of leadership, you create opportunities for all people to belong, participate in, and contribute.

Frank Spillers

"Best training we have had in more than 13 years!"

When you create wealth The Be WUCA! Way, you change the way you look at things. You create wealth and healthy environments when you build people up, focus on making their lives better, and help others become what they dream about. You become a more effective leader when you encourage people The Be WUCA! Way, when you Welcome, Understand, Comfort, and Appreciate yourself and others. You will enjoy a sense of belonging!

Wealth creation begins with positive, forward-thinking, people-centered leadership making things happen! An effective leader will guide in identifying people’s passion and purpose because this is what really motivates us to perform, get things done, and do our very best work!

An effective leader will communicate a big-picture vision, assist to establish doable goals, and create an environment to achieve each and every one using and building people's talents along the way.

An effective leader allows - encourages - an individual to grow. When your words and actions build people, you will automatically strengthen businesses, create successful schools, excite communities, families, and organizations.

With effective leadership The Be WUCA! Way comes business and community growth because life will really be humming along and people will respond! Leaders set goals, always looking for and creating new pathways for people to engage. They generate new ways of seeing and acting on both persistent and emerging challenges that offer the possibility for change and authentic hope.

How do you rate your wealth creation? Do people feel they "belong" in your presence? Are you a good leader? Want to be a great leader?

Wherever you are in the world, your business, workplace, school, community, family, and organization will prosper when you put The Be WUCA! Way principles to work.

Learn to use them. Live them. You'll see a dramatic difference of wealth creation in your life! Step into being and creating leadership The Be WUCA! Way.