Perception - Another Person's Reality

To really understand another person you need to understand how your filtering mechanism works.

Your filtering mechanism is your belief system of what you see or another word for that is paradigm. A paradigm is the belief that has been turned into a habit and has been programmed into you. it is how you perceive reality and why you act the way you do and live the way you do.

A paradigm is like railroad tracks. It creates a set direction for how you see the world. Everything you see, everything you’d do everything you perceive of other people and situations, is filtered through your paradigm. It becomes your reality.

So it is also with other people. Their paradigm or belief system filters the information that they take in.

In order to understand how another person perceives reality, you have to understand how they grew up, their culture. You have to understand their personality, and you have to understand their current situation. 

Get Your Head in the Game

One of the biggest challenges in meeting any goal, whether it be related to productivity, waking early, changing a habit, exercising, or just becoming happier, is finding the motivation to stick with it.

 If you can stick with a goal for long enough, you’ll almost always get there eventually. It just takes patience and motivation. Motivation is the key, but it’s not always easy, day in and day out, to find that motivation.

One way to get you there quicker, is with another person, a coach.

A goal-setting coaching process that will help you to understand the “why” and the “how” goals are achieved. If you have ever wanted to achieve that "magic" weight; if you have ever wanted to have the endurance; if you have ever wanted to earn a grade; if you have ever wanted to achieve any goal, then even before you even start your program, you will want to give yourself a “head” start to achieving your goals!

Individuals in all circumstances can and will reach any goal that they want to achieve - it all starts in your mind.  So, participate and “Get your Head in the Game” and focus to achieve your goals. Motivation is the key!

Coaching sessions include:

  • “It all starts with passion, purpose, vision, and action.”

  • “Understanding how your mind directs you to achieve your goals.”

  • “Identifying your passion to achieve your goal

  • "Remove any mind blocks that keep you from achieving your goals."

  • “Start with the end in mind and create a realistic goal for yourself.”

  • "Overcoming negative mind-chatter."

  • "Replacing the negative with the positive."

It does not matter where you are in life - high school, college, young, old, amateurs or professional; we all need help at times. We all get in our heads and can't see the victories that lie before us.

Take action and move aside the stumbling block in your head! Become the person that you want to become and "Get Your Head in the Game" to win!

Free 1/2 Hour Session

Book Now

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Civility?

Name calling! Finger-pointing! Backbiting!

Blaming others seems to be the norm these days. Should it be?

Tear down this wall!

Years ago, East and West Germany became one nation. A wall was torn down. It is time our walls between differing ideologies, values and opinions come down.

Effective leaders cultivate a safe and supportive climate in which relationships are based on inclusivity, trust, and mutual respect. Only in a supportive environment can people feel safe to express differences of opinions and work toward “win-win” solutions.

This country and so many communities, groups, and political organizations need to listen to each other. Not just not talk and take positions, but to listen to why people hold a particular view. The environment we create teaches generations of individuals how to think about, talk about, talk to, and treat one another.

Listening is an action!

Listening is a skill that requires intentional development. Just as you needed to learn how to walk correctly, relationships require the skill to actively listen because much of the time when an issue arises, the problem on the surface usually has a problem behind it where the true issue lies.

We each view life and the issues we encounter through our own filters. Unique opinions and values form through our environment: the people we grew up with. Live and work around. Our experiences, thoughts, and perceptions about them. The values we have formed throughout our lives. We create environments everywhere. Family. Friends. Work. Worship. The grocery store. The car. Play.

Inherent in every relationship, conflict is a difference in perspectives. The diversity of perspectives within relationships helps generate ideas and facilitate change. If it is managed wisely, conflict is an opportunity. Listen for values to identify the issue.

Don't just talk about an issue, talk through it

The search for common ground on tough issues is more productive using a technique called "deliberative dialogue," seeking "why" people hold their position. Dialogue talks through an issue, not just takes a stand about - for or against - an issue. When you seek to understand the "why" others act the way they do, you discover a person's values. From there, you can work together to identify a positive outcome in a safe space. People can come together, talk through perspectives on issues, and find common ground that will create a better environment.

Consider these questions when identifying the "problem behind the problem." Be sure to intentionally involve all affected parties in the dialogue.

Naming the issue: What do you think is the problem? What bothers you?

Framing the issue: What can/should we do about the problem?

Deliberating to understand values: If we do what you suggest, what do you think would happen?

What would be fair? Effective?

Why would we be better off? How would we be better off?

What is the downside?

If there is a downside, would we change our minds? What different course could we pursue?

Acting together to find common ground: What would you and the affected parties be willing to do about the problem? What are you willing to give up to do what you want to do?

Are you seeking civility? Check your environment. See if people listen to and respect one another. If you need a technique, try deliberative dialogue.

"The Be WUCA! Way" teaches civility.

Learn - Do - Teach.

Use a Different Set of Eyes

The new book, The Be WUCA! Way, The ART of getting along, uses grounded, research-based, take-charge "I can affect my future" techniques in an easy-to-understand format that will work. Using the exercises and ideas from its pages, you will change the way you look at things and, because you do, the things you look at will change. When you use a different set of eyes and create environments that create growth and productivity, you will live a Be WUCA! life.

A young boy, about seven, was racing his bike along a country road near his home.

As he approached an overpass, he braked hard, and came to a stop. There sat a huge truck with its trailer jammed tightly underneath the bridge.

Rescue vehicles, with lights flashing, blocked the only remaining open lane. A very large tow truck sat with engine idled, the driver puzzled at his repeated, failed attempts to dislodge the trailer.

Firefighters, policemen, truck driver, and several adult passersby gathered around the truck, all trying desperately to figure out how to free it from the bridge.

The young boy walked his bike up to the crowd. He caught the attention of a policeman. “What’s the matter, Officer?” he asked.

“The truck driver jammed his rig up under that bridge,” the patrol officer explained. “It’s stuck pretty tight. Tried several ways, but can’t seem to get it out.”

The young boy looked at the truck… then at the officer… and said matter-of-factly, “Why don’t they just let the air out of the tires?”

The officer was dumbfounded. He just shook his head, smiled at the boy, and said,

“Thanks kid!”

Have you ever looked for a way to solve a problem - maybe for days on end - turning it over and over to look at it different ways?

The successful way to solve any problem is to stop looking for the answer. When you relax and allow the problem to be solved, you find the solution that you never ever thought you would find and in a way that is all-of-a-sudden-obvious.

It's that way with your life. When you stop searching for the exact way that you think it should go and live your passion, a way will open to you. Live for today and tomorrow will open new doors that you did not see before.

Teaching Students to be Community Leaders

Thanks for joining us again for a Coaching in the Classroom / CIC update! November 8 was election day 2011. As it's an "off" year, meaning the president isn't elected, so, sadly, fewer people made the trek to the polls to cast their ballots to elect their leadership. In fact, in our county, some elections were won by one vote! Your voice counts!

When you have the opportunity, please vote in whatever elections are taking place in your communities. This privilege is important in any town, but for rural areas, here's why we feel citizen engagement and knowledge is critical.

We took about 30 students to city hall in Coon Rapids, where we teach every week, to meet with Mayor Keith Dorpinghaus and City Clerk, Jesica Leighty. The students asked some really good questions, had a tour of the building, saw future development plans for the city, and learned about the importance of elections.

The reason this is really, really important for you to model is that we had the students raise their hands and about 20 of them (that's two-thirds of our high-schoolers with whom we work) plan to remain in the area post-graduation. This is a huge opportunity for community leaders and educators to connect with these students and bring them into the life of the community ahead of graduation so they feel WUCA! Welcome, Understood, Comfortable, and Appreciated for their talents, skills, ideas, energy, and enthusiasm!

We are teaching them to run these communities, because in not too long a period of time, these children are going to be sitting on city councils and school boards (in fact, we are working on getting a student seat soon on these two), on church committees, and will be running for mayor. They need to know how the city operates and part of what we do in CIC is to provide them with some learning they can use in the future in these capacities. So please, head out and vote! Take your student with you! If they are 18, get them registered ahead of time and tell them your feelings about candidates, the political climate, your values, and why you take the time to vote. Your student will likely listen and model you.

Please feel free to get in touch with us - education is a team sport! Be involved with your students to help them become healthy, productive, engaged leaders!

 

Discover Your Purpose Through Be WUCA! Coaching

When 10 years from now is over, will you look back and wonder "where did those 10 years go?" Will you be asking yourself the question of "why am I still doing what I am doing?"

Whether you do something different or not, ten years from now will happen anyway. The choice you have to make immediately is that you can discover your purpose now and live it in the next 10 years or you can wait the same 10 years and look back and ask "why am I still doing what I am doing?"

Discovering your purpose is one of the most fulfilling exercises that you can do. Living your purpose is the most fulfilling life that you can live. When you live your purpose, you will help other people discover and live theirs.

Start now! Take some time now to ask yourself, "Am I living my purpose?"

 Score each statement with 1- low and 5 – high

 ‗  I recognize what I am good at doing.

‗  I fully utilize my most enjoyed skills and interests at work.

‗  My work furthers issues that I care deeply about.

‗  I am making a difference through my work in the world.

‗  I view most workdays with enthusiasm.

‗  I have developed my own philosophy on life and success.

‗  I take the necessary risks to live my philosophy.

‗  I feel a sense of meaning and purpose in my life.

‗  I have written goals that relate to my purpose.

‗  I live my life now instead of hoping that life will work out someday.

The higher the total, the closer you are to living your purpose.

 Find your purpose as an individual: what is the best use of your time, talent and passion? Have a conversation with your coach about your occupation. 

Why do I have the job I have?

Who does my work serve?

What do they do with what I provide?

Do they in turn, help others with what I give them?

Is there integrity in what I do for a living?

If I could be doing anything I wanted to do, assured that all my living expenses and material needs and desires would somehow be fulfilled, would I be working where I currently am employed or operate?

Are there any negative aspects to my work? Can I change any negative aspects?

What is positive about my work?

Can I achieve my purpose only in this job?

Do I wake up in the morning excited for the day, or do I dread what is ahead of me?

If I could wake up every morning, excited to face the day and eager to get to work, what would that day look like?

Decide to have a Be WUCA!(c) coaching session. It just might be the best 10 year investment that you could ever make.

Be WUCA!

Your Self-Talk Determines Your Health

Your voice is the voice that you listen to the most. So stop and consider what you say to yourself. It will be the healthiest thing that you have ever done because you become what you think about. 

What if, as a nation, we did not listen to the news? What if, as a nation, we did not listen to the so-called experts on the economy tell us how bad it is out there?

I agree that we need knowledge of what is going on, but really, the repetition of how bad it is plays on the mind and has the power to make it "true."

Look at all the businesses making record profits, but who are not hiring or expanding because of the information they are hearing. If the economy is so bad, why do they have record profits?

It is that way with everything we think about.

Do you always get a cold a certain time of year? Do you fulfill your own expectations?

Before you try something, do you ever tell yourself that it is not going to turn out the way you wanted? What's your end result?

It is no wonder that drug companies are making record profits. We are eating right out of their hands. Did you know that up to 60% of the most popular drugs sold today deal with emotional issues like depression, stress, and high blood pressure? Have you noticed that the ads for these are broadcast around the evening news? Do you think there is a coincidence?

More and more people are dying of stress-related illnesses then ever before. Do you think that it is because 75% of the information that you hear in a day is negative? Most of the information you hear is coming into your belief system and you are accepting what is being said. When you believe what you hear, your body reacts in the way of your belief.

We listen to the newscast and get depressed, and then watch the commercials from a drug company that says this drug will cure our depression.

You need to combat your thoughts and protect your belief system. If you don't, you will likely go down the path well-traveled by many others, because if you always DO, what you've always DONE, you'll always GET, what you've always GOT!

It is because of the way you think and the way you think about yourself and your well-being.

Only one person can change your life and that person is you. You are accountable to you and accountable for your outcomes, but sometimes it's nice to have accountability partner.

We help people get on the right path. Be WUCA!(c) Coaching is a way for you to feel right about what you are doing and get your body and mind in alignment. We use techniques that will help you develop the habits that you need to be successful in your career, education, and relationships.

When you change your thinking, you change your life! Take a step forward today!

A tool to implement 21st-Century Constructs in Iowa: Coaching in the Classroom

Coaching in the Classroom

Implementing  21st Century Iowa Core Curriculum 

Coaching in the Classroom (CIC) is a passion-identifying, goal-setting, workplace and leadership development program best implemented with at-risk students. CIC guides students in creating direction in their life through passion, purpose, vision, and goals.  It also helps students create new businesses and/or transition into buying existing businesses someday in their communities.

Kim and Frank Spillers are weekly in-class coaches for about 80 7th-12th-grade students at Coon Rapids-Bayard High School (CR-B) and about 15 students at the Metro West Learning Academy, an alternative school for 6 Des Moines-area feeder high schools. Unofficially, CR-B has actually implemented the 21st-Century Constructs through CIC.

We ran year 1 of CIC in 2009-2010 at CR-B as a pilot with 7th-12th-graders. Two very encouraging results came that first year:

  • 34% of all the 7th & 8th-graders met or exceeded the grade goals they set for the Spring 2010 semester, plus,
  • 45% of the students on the “at-risk” list Fall 2009 were not on the list Fall 2010.

These results, plus the individual accomplishments of some of the  students, encouraged the CR-B administration and school board to bring us back for the 2010-11 school year, with results still being tabulated. We eagerly and gratefully return this fall for year 3.

CIC at CR-B works with all 7th-12th-graders, but concentrates on those identified “at-risk” by the Iowa Department of Education, as monitored by tardiness to school and classes, low grades on standardized tests, participation in extracurricular activities, and failing grades in 1 or more classes.

Elements taught through Coaching in the Classroom come from more than 23 years of economic development experience in rural areas. Our knowledge stems from being business owners who have hired workers and met payrolls, visiting with business owners, and working at local, state, and federal levels of community development.

Coaching in the Classroom and the Iowa Core Curriculum’s 21st-Century Universal Constructs

Below, you will find a list of the Fall 2010-11 semester topics we've discussed, presented, and around which have enjoyed activities in and out of the classroom.  Coaching in the Classroom includes all six constructs:

  • Critical thinking
  • Complex Communication
  • Creativity
  • Collaboration
  • Flexibility and Adaptability
  • Productivity and Accountability

A partial list of Coaching in the Classroom topics: 

  • Though students don’t always agree, they are told that every single adult in their school building wants them to succeed.
  • Kinesiology – how internal and external language affects you physically.
  • Identifying their passions – what they love to do, what future they can develop to live out their passions, and what goals they need to accomplish to get them there.
  • They discover their personality type to better know who they are, how to get along with others, and how to use this information to succeed in school and relationships.
  • Brain development and how our thoughts lead to actions.
  • 96% of our decisions are subconscious habits. That means only 4 percent of our decisions are made through our actual, conscious thought on any given day. This makes your positive subconscious critical to success.
  • C  + A = R. For every single circumstance in our lives, our Action gives us the Results. If we want a different outcome, we must change our response to an event. Positive responses bring positive outcomes. Our responses are choices that we make.
  • When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Dr. Wayne Dyer
  • The importance of being committed to learn every day of their lives. For them, learning is their job right now, and requires commitment for success in every single class.
  • The importance of legible handwriting and speaking – first impressions matter when you apply for a job of any type.
  • How visualizing a goal can help in your achievement of that goal.
  • Make your goals SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.
  •  What makes you feel welcome, understood, comfortable, and appreciated? Do you do that for others in your life?
  • How they feel their communities feel about them; creating positive, supportive community.
  • THINK YOU CAN!
  • Encouragement to students to participate, and community leaders to allow / include students at input and decision making levels in town activities.
  • How it feels to many students to have to be the "adult" in their homes because the adults in their lives are not making safe or good choices.
  • Getting out of the “I’m a victim” mentality.
  • Be responsible for your actions.
  • What behaviors are sabotaging your progress? Reflection is hard and uncomfortable.
  • The importance of unity and teamwork to prepare for success and to be good workers.
  • To look on the labels they may have of being ADD/ADHD as strengths they can use and realize these labels won’t matter once out of school and in the workplace.
  • The importance of being punctual, dressed appropriately, when to use technology, how to talk to and with people, and always display respectful attitudes.
  • Recognize change takes time, determination, and may be painful.
  • Peer pressure to make good / poor decisions. “All of us are one poor decision away from ruining ,our life at any given day.”
  • Creative decision making, the steps needed, and who is included in decisions.
  • For what are students grateful? They have very long lists! When you are grateful for what you receive, you’ll likely receive more. Focus + Act = Receive.
  • Question and learn about life and why things happen! Be curious!
  • Be involved in your city, county, state, and national politics. Your voice makes a difference. (Continuous classroom encouragement and field trip to Iowa Capitol.)

We really thank you for taking the time to learn about Coaching in the Classroom. We’d love to visit with you about bring CIC to your school.

Take care and Be WUCA!!!

BE WUCA!(c) Companies Hold Employee Turnover to a Minimum

When you are a BE WUCA!(c) employer, you will hold down employee turnover, employee grumblings to a minimum, and build productivity to new levels. WHY? Appreciation goes a long way and produces maximum benefits!

No, Millennials Don’t Expect a Trophy For Every Little Thing They Do at Work#more-26058.